A good place to start! I hope you have a good sense of humor as well as an interest in knowing the truth about God, Jesus and the scriptures. I try to present the plain truth from the scriptures without man-made doctrine or "spin."

Any person who wants to contribute is welcome. I will review your contribution and if it is based in scripture and not doctrinal spin I will publish it! If you have had an experience and would like to have it read... that too is welcome! I will try to answer any individual questions and offer my opinion in a private transfer of e-mail, so, feel free to e-mail me! This page is an example of my satirical views and is not intended to offend! Hope this site helps!

Who's Right And How Often Are They Right?

Seems to me it's gettin' awfully hard to find any two people who can agree on the scriptures! Much less any two churches!

Ever wonder why it's so hard? Well I'll tell you old friend, it's Satan!

Yup! Seems that ole Smut-Face has infiltrated just about all churches!

I'll tell you ~ Every body's confused.

For 100's of years Catholics couldn't eat meat on Friday or practice birth control by any means other than abstinence. Well, it got so we were gettin' over-populated with fish eatin' catholics ~ So ~ to keep the price of fish from going through the roof the Pope found it in his heart to lighten-up! Now they can eat meat on Fridays and have more Pope-Sanctioned intimacy.
As a result, because all those ex-mackerel snappers are eatin' more beef, we've got cows plastered all over bill-boards with signs 'round their necks readin' "EAT MORE CHIKEN". If that ain't enough, your teen-age daughter can get an abortion if she forgets her pill and they won't even tell on her! Where will it end???

Surely ~ the Pope will get in touch with the Lord for instructions

I remember when it was a terrible sin to practice homosexuality! Now our preachers and priests are practicing it ~ as a result ~ they're teachin' it! Can't be long 'till God's had enough! I'm just waitin' till we have a little burlesque before the preacher enters the stage. You know ~ that ought to attract some more tithin' members.

Only seems fittin' that a little strip-tease is comin'. After all, we've got rock-n-roll groups hammerin' out secular' hard rock in church, sexy women, (wives) side-kicks of most all evangelists and T. V. preacher's wives posing there beside'em (on T. V.) looking sexier and more glamorous than most Hollywood Harlots. Not that they ain't pretty but ain't this supposed to be church-type scenery? Most men are squirming in their seats trying hard to remember not to lust! Add those facts to the fact that practicing homosexuals can now hold positions in the church and I gotta think, burlesque is coming.

Remember when women had to wear hats (cover their heads) when in church? Now they're up on stage beltin' out the commandments and God's law like they themselves were abidin' by'em! SEE! We let'em start votin' and look what we got! Most of'em sound like they know more than Paul Harvey and they could all be poster girls for Mabeline. Talk about eye lashes!

Some churches don't allow their members to "hug" standin' up cause somebody might think they're dancing. Others are sure you'll go to Hell if you can't speak in an unknown tongue.

Some say you better keep the Sabbath holy (Saturday) while others say if you ain't in church on Sunday, you'll surely burn!

Some churches say it's okay for the priest (pastor) to drink wine (booze) while others are absolutely positive that it's a sure-fire ticket to Hell for (even) a lowly member to partake of firewater.

Talk about confusion: Just call in on a talk-radio talk show and slightly mention some kind of scripture and you'll have at least a dozen so-called born-agains call in and tell you how little you know and you better listen to them cause they've got a monopoly on divine knowledge and you ain't part of it.

Is it any wonder our kids are confused and stayin' inebriated? Heck, parents too! Drinkin' too much whisk or smokin' dope just so things will seem to make sense.

You know Jesus said that when he comes back the next time, it will be as in the days of Noah. Remember? Mankind was completely rotten! That's why God caused the flood and killed'em all except Noah and his family. Noah was the only human on the entire planet who was right with God! Seems that the DNA (and lack of obedience to God's laws) got so polluted he had to start over. looks like the DNA is gettin' pretty polluted again! Wonder when Jesus will be back?

Some folks might even get the idea the church has evolved into something other than what Jesus and his "12" had intended ~ sorry ~ please include the Apostle Paul in that bunch of disappointed founders who were crucified and died horrible deaths to leave us the model church and the road map to the Kingdom. OOOPS! Make that 14 - I forgot about John The Baptist.

Well, thank heaven he promised not to cause another flood. Cause I feel like I'm the only human left that is old fashioned enough to believe the whole story. Knowing that homosexuality has no place in the church and man-made religions won't get you to heaven.

Besides......
I'm gettin' too old to be building a boat. My cat won't even mind me, how would I ever get all those stinkin' animals on the boat? In addition to all that, I don't have kids that would help me build it, or for that matter, they ain't got a daddy that would spend darn near a year on a boat with them.

Kinda makes a good, clean heart attack sound good, doesn't it?

Pray, Lord Pray! What else can you do? The world is too crazy to take too seriously, so find it in the Lord. I got a feelin' he's about ready to end this travesty.

Your Friend,

John... AKA Darryl